Yes, I am the wife of a sex offender. I know there are others out there and I was hoping to get in touch with them...I know that maybe, someone would like a place to unload their fears, thoughts, struggles, just like I would.

Let's get to know each other:

I met my husband in Oct 2006. By our second date, he told me his story. But the man I met, did not fit the description of the man he was accused of being. Plus, I feel everyone deserves second chances. So, we had a whirlwind relationship. Didn't take me long to figure out that this man was the man of my dreams. Have you ever made a list of "your perfect" husband? I had. Right after my divorce from my first husband of 24 years. It was amazing how many markers, that this convicted sex offender possessed. He is my soul mate, the man of my dreams. By Dec 2006, we were engaged. Yes, I know it was quick...but sometimes you just know! In August 2007, we were married, A big wedding too because he had never been married. (After all, you can't meet a wife when you're serving 20 years in a Federal prison.) We had a different but fantastic honeymoon. Course we were limited by where we could go, after all...had to be within the state...a stipulation by his parole officer. So we honeymooned in a tent in a camp ground in the mountains. Did I mention that we took along our son? A big 110 pound Belgium Shepherd. It rained for the first 3 days....but we had a great time. You learn if your marriage is going to survive or break when spending 3 days in a tent with the man you promised to love for life and a 110 pound dog. We laughed, played scrabble, we talked, and even sat out in the rain drinking coronas and just talk. This August 2008, we celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary. I wish I could say we had a glorious 1st year...but it would have been if not for the issues with the sex offenders laws and restrictions from his parole officer.

You see, my husband was convicted over 28 years ago for a crime he did not commit. (yes, I know, that's what they all say!) but he has proof. Evidence was covered up, expert witnesses made unavailable...etc. I've seen it, read it. And if you knew my husband, you'd believe it too. Plus...would a guilty man turn down a plea bargain that would have him serve only 7 years and available for parole after 24 hours for the crime of rape and murder? My husband turned it down, not once but 3 times. It was not his nature to say he was guilty of a crime he did not commit. He was hoping that justice would prevail. He just didn't know at the time, that evidence would be covered up. Evidence that could prove his innocence.

Recently, my husband had to register as a Sex offender. Why? Since the laws do not apply to him in our state. Because his PO lied and said that a judge had ordered it. I went to the Sheriff's office with him, the day he had to register. It is a humiliating process. Made even more so with the posting on the Internet and in our daily newspapers. But we hold our heads up.

Our lives our consumed with legal fighting for justice. I've picked up where his mother left off...using every resource to get his story told. But guess what...no one wants to do anything about a 28 yo injustice. Its so frustrating. I needed an outlet. although, I could talk to my husband, I don't want to add more worries than he already has. Plus, I felt, by creating this blog site, we, (the wives, significant others) could help one another...just by lending an ear (or key stroke as the case may be).

So that's just a little about my story. Won't you share yours?

Sandy
from Maryland

 

 

If you want to read more of my story, thoughts and fears visit  http://supportforwivesofsexoffenders.blogspot.com/